Endless Melody
by Fuzzy footie pajamas
Summary: Roderich loves the carousel that rests on his shelf. No matter how old it grows, it still brings great comfort. But when that special carousel is broken to bits, it's up to Gilbert to dry his tears, and assure him that he doesn't need to rely upon a materialistic possession for comfort. All he needs, is someone who will be with him. Slight Abdl/Age regression


**_The first music box was invented in 1796, but technology used to make such boxes existed since the ninth century. What Roderich is being given is one of the first music boxes in existence. Oof, this story took about...two months to write. I do hope it came out well._**

 _Roderich stood patiently, with his hands clasped together as he waited for his turn. Before him, Germania sat upon the ground, a sack in his lap. He had gone out once again on a trip to the town, and had promised each of his little ones a special present when he got back. Ludwig, the youngest, had been first. Roderich watched as Germania reached into his bag, a pulled out a little teddy bear. With button eyes, and a soft, black nose. Little Ludwig, no older then three, reached out with bright eyes to accept what he was given. "He was the nicest one I could find. Take good care of this little one. If you treat him with kindness and with a gentle hand, he may be your friend for a rather long time to come." Ludwig, who was a rather stoic child at the time, put on a stern face, and nodded once as he held the bear tightly in his arms. He would take the best care of it. Germania ruffled his blonde hair, and then looked up. "Roderich? Will you come here please?" he said, using one finger to beckon him closer. Roderich nodded curtly and quickly approached him, his hands still clasped together tightly. Germania always seemed to bring something interesting whenever he went into town. Sometimes it was a sweet, and sometimes, it was a little toy or a game. Whatever it was, it always made him happy. Germania smiled softly, that rare smile that could make his heart swell._

 _"For you little one, I have brought something a bit new. I imagine you have yet to see something quite like this," he said. What could he be speaking of? Out of the bag, he pulled out something that was wrapped in paper. He removed the wrappings that kept the treasure inside safe. Then, he handed it to Roderich. It seemed to be a toy of some sort. A small, pink and white round-about it would seem. He looked it over for a moment. It was simply a toy. He hated to be rude, but it hardly seemed as special as he thought it might be. He would admit however, it was rather pretty. Germania did not often bring such visually pleasing things into the home, and it almost looked out of place. "Have a look little one," he said as he pulled it back for a moment. He turned it upside down, and began to turn something on the underside. Once he had finished, he turned it right-side up once again. And as soon as he had, a tinny, and yet melodic sound began to play as the little horses rotated. Roderich blinked a few times, rather captured by the sounds and the wonderful way it moved. He doubt he had ever heard such a wondrous sound before. He didn't say a thing for a moment, just watching it move, as Germania advised him to be careful with it, as it was a bit fragile. "Roderich?"_

 _"Ah! Yes, I understand. Thank you Vatti." He took the rotating treasure into his hands and held it carefully. It looked so delicate, he was almost afraid that it would break. He was given the same warning, being told to treat it with care and to be careful with it. He was not listening, but he did not need to be told twice either. He loved it, and he would take very good care of it._

 _Roderich spent the rest of his evening, lying still on his bed as he watched the horses move and listen to the melody play._

That small boy was no longer such a little boy any longer. It had been hundreds of years since he had been given such a wonderful present. He didn't hold the same innocent eyes he once had. Rather, he seemed to carry about a cold, and unsympathetic glare behind those small spectacles. He carried himself with such precision, and kept his feet rooted firmly in the ground, almost as though there was no room for fantasy. He expected the best out of everyone, and set his standards high. One could almost suffocate when he pressed down his expectations on them. What many didn't know however, was that he held that bar of expectations even higher for himself. He continued to reach for it, but he found himself pushing it higher and higher out of his reach. It was tiresome, and he didn't know how much longer he could do it. He never seemed to be satisfied. He almost never seemed to be happy. That's why he always seemed too eager to return home after a long day's strife. Because awaiting him there, was his sanctuary. A place he could feel at peace, and finally have his rest. And a place where he could really be happy.

This evening in particular, he found himself in the same position he was in as a small child. Lying on his bed, his knees curled in ever so slightly, as he watched the horses rotate. His thumb was pressed against his lips, as he resisted the temptation to bite the nail. The old carousel from his childhood still worked, and he was greatful for that. The pink and white paint had faded a bit, the horses had grown slow, and the music didn't sound quite the same. But it still meant the world to him. Listening to the familiar melody brought him back to a much simpler time in his life. A time when it wasn't so important to meet expectations. A time where he didn't have to work so hard to achieve a perfection that was not possible. His childhood. Of course, Germania gave him grief at times during his childhood, as did Gilbert, and Elizabeta. But for the most part, it was one of the better times of his life. He allowed his heavy eyes to fall shut, letting the temptation overtake him and slipping his thumb into his lips. During times like this, he found himself regressing back to an almost infantile state of mind. When he didn't need to think about adult grief, and annoyances. The music from the carousel made him feel like he was being held in the way he used to be. Like he wasn't alone. He allowed himself this one comfort. This one little comfort, that brought him much more happiness, then anything else seemed to do. It was the only memorabilia he had from such a time. He would treasure it forever.

He began to drift off, not aware that the music had come to a stop. It had been a rather long day, and he just wanted the chance to sleep. He had been scolded, knocked to the ground, and given much work to do this evening. Being a nation could be so difficult at times. So little moments like this were very cherished. 'I still have a little to do today,' his sleepy mind came to realize. 'Ludwig was scolding me quite a bit earlier because I've been a bit pokey lately. I've been a tad lazy lately, and failed to finish my work the other day. So, I'll be sure to get to that soon. But first, I need to close my eyes. Just for a few moments...'

Being half-asleep, he wasn't fully aware that someone was trying to enter the house. Someone knocked incessantly at his door, calling his name. Only when the knocking became a loud pounding, did he finally begin to stir. His long lashes fluttered a bit as he struggled to wake himself up. Roderich turned onto his side to glance at the clock. 9:00? 'Good heavens,' he thought as he sat up. 'Who could it be at this hour?' He climbed from the bed, and stretched his arms above his head. Once he heard his shoulders pop, he let his arms down slowly. He picked up the carousel, and brought it back to rest on his dresser. Once he made sure it was safe, he left his bedroom and to the front door.

"I'm coming I'm coming. Just calm down," Roderich sighed. He approached the door and opened it up. As soon as he saw who was standing there, he sighed once again. Great.

"Hey there!" Gilbert greeted. "Took you long enough! You don't look too happy to see me. You didn't forget about our jam session did you?" Roderich's eyes trailed down to Gilbert's hand. He had his flute case dangling from his hand. Oh right. He nearly forgot.

"Of course I didn't forget," Roderich answered. Well, it had actually slipped his mind a bit. but he couldn't very well say so. "And furthermore, it is not a 'jam session.' I told you already, I needed a woodwind accompaniment for this piece. That's all this is."

"Yea whatever Specs," Gilbert laughed as he stepped into the house. Roderich shook his head, and led him into the grand hall where he kept his piano. Gilbert was still as loud and irritating as he was as a child. The two of them had grown up together, and spent a lot of time together. But they never did manage to get along very well. Gilbert was too noisy and unreasonable. Roderich was too stuffy and mean. So, they tended to be at one another's throats. Roderich led him across the sitting room, and down the hall towards the grand hall. As he did, he yawned a bit. "What's up, you tired?" Gilbert asked.

"Somewhat," Roderich answered as he glanced at his watch. "So I would appreciate it if we had no tomfoolery during our duet. The faster we get this done, the better."

"Heh. I'm usually the one to rush you during these sorts of things. This'll be a nice change of pace," Gilbert chuckled. He followed Roderich into the grand hall, and to the grand piano that rested in the middle of the large room. Roderich sat himself down at the bench, and lifted the cover off of the keys. He stretched out his fingers whilst Gilbert opened his case, and began to put together his silver flute. They both took the time to warm up, playing a few chords with one another first. Once they were ready, Roderich set up a music stand for Gilbert, and provided the sheet music for him.

"I trust this won't be too difficult for you," Roderich asked as he sat back down.

"Course not!" Gilbert chuckled. "You forget who you're talking to?" This was one thing the two had in common. They loved to make music. It wasn't so easy to tell sometimes, mostly because he didn't play for others, but Gilbert was just as musically talented, as Roderich was. He loved to play, and as much as he hated to say it, he liked to play with Roderich. They could make such wonderful music together. It was one of the only times they could get along, and actually work together. Roderich enjoyed it a good deal as well. Well, he did when Gilbert took it seriously anyhow.

Gilbert took a moment to study the score, and practiced for a moment, before the two of them began to play with one another. Music began to fill the hall, engulfing them in a warm embrace. _Liebestraum No 3 in the key of A Flat_ , composed by Franz Liszt. It was more then an accompaniment Gilbert was playing. It was not a simple background piece. No, he worked side-by-side with Roderich, playing as his second half. He felt light on his feet, as though he could simply fly away. That was the magic that music had on him. Hearing it was well and good. But playing it was a whole different thing in and of itself. He was making something wonderful, rather then destroying. He was using his skills in a way that he was proud of. So playing this little duet meant more to him then one might realize.

Usually, this had the same effect on Roderich as he played his piano. And in the beginning, it did. He could feel his fingers move gracefully across the keys. But he knew from experience, that a fatigued musician did not always preform at his best. At some point during the song, Roderich was given a chance to rest, as Gilbert played a solo section of the song. But once Roderich began to play again, he found himself lost. And after a bit of playing, he began to hit a few sour notes. He quickly tried to rearrange his fingering to continue. However, his off-key playing confused Gilbert, and threw him off the tone as well. Before too long, the music became mixed, and didn't form a coherent tune.

"Hey Specs, what happened?" Gilbert sighed, letting the flute hang down at his side now. "You threw me off."

"I know I know. My apologies," Roderich sighed, wiping his eyes under his glasses. "I'm sorry. I suppose I'm just a tad fatigued. Why don't we schedule this for another time?" he suggested. "I'm afraid I won't be able to produce anything properly this evening."

"Ah. Whatever I guess," Gilbert sighed, shaking his head. He wasn't surprised to be honest. Roderich had been on the move all day it would seem. No wonder he was tired. "You just gonna go to bed now then?"

"I may as well," Roderich said as he stood up from his piano bench. He thought for a moment. "Well, I have a bit to get done first I believe. But I don't know if I'll be able to stay awake, even for that."

"Then go to bed dummy," Gilbert told him, taking the flute apart, and putting back into his case. "No point in staying awake longer then you need to. Can't you put your work or whatever to the side for now?" he asked. Roderich scoffed a bit.

"You may have the privilege of being able not to care about your tasks. But I don't have that same privilege fool," he said. He didn't mean to be so testy. He supposed he was just in a rather poor mood due to the fatigue. Gilbert thankfully was able to ignore him. "I'm going to have a bath. Please take care on your way home." Gilbert glanced at the window, and grimaced a bit.

"It's kinda dark out ain't it? Can I crash here for the night?"

"Absolutely not. It was dark when you got here wasn't it? I'm sure you could handle the walk back." Gilbert groaned a bit. Roderich watched him pout for a moment before sighing. "Alright. Fine. You may help yourself to a guestroom if you wish. Just please keep out of trouble okay?"

"Niceness! Don't worry about me alright? I can take care of myself," Gilbert assured him.

"That's not really what I was worried about, but alright then," Roderich said with a shake of his head. "Anyhow, like I said, I'm going to bathe. Please go straight to bed if you can," Roderich told him. "Good night Gilbert." Gilbert waved him off, and watched him walk away. He stood in the Grand Hall for a moment, as something slowly dawned over him. He...hadn't the foggiest where the guest room was...

Roderich didn't seem aware of Gilbert's troubles. He grabbed his sleep-wear, and entered the bathroom attached to his bedroom. He drew himself a bath, lit his favorite candles, and was soon sinking into the warm water. He could feel his muscles relaxing a bit more now, and he let his eyes slide shut. Goodness, he was feeling awfully tired. He leant against the clean wall of the tub, letting out a content little sigh. He felt like he could slip right into a deep sleep, right there in his bathtub. He reached up and began to gently massage his temples. He was already starting to feel a bit better. The scent of lilac wafted about the room, making him even more relaxed. But... Roderich opened his eyes once again, staring at the wall. He couldn't let his guard down too low. He still had Gilbert to worry about. Was it a bad idea to let him stay here in his home for the night? He couldn't say for sure. It was only for one night after all. Still. Who knew what could happen in just one night? He would just have to keep an eye out for him, and make sure gilbert didn't do anything foolish. Once again, Roderich closed his eyes. It would seem he wouldn't be able to get much of a peaceful sleep tonight no?

He could remember that ever since their childhood, Gilbert had been a bit of a troublemaker. Giving him grief and causing mischief wherever he went. Roderich seemed to be his favorite victim when it came to teasing and bothering. Because they were such polar opposites, Roderich found himself to be quite the easy target. But admittedly, it wasn't all bad. Gilbert wasn't a nuisance all of the time. On the contrary, he had quite the soft side. One that was a bit hard to see, if one wasn't paying attention. He remembered the time when Gilbert defended little Ludwig from the big dog that nearly grabbed him. Or the time he scolded Elizabeta for picking on him. Or even the time he cried for the small bird he found, abandoned and dead, right under the branch where it's nest lie. Gilbert would likely deny any of this ever happened, in order to preserve his dignity. But, Roderich remember it. He remembered every singe bit of it. "Why is it," he asked aloud, "that he seems to have lost the kindness he once held? He used to be such a kind fellow. Sometimes." Roderich sighed a bit and sunk a bit deeper into the water, so that his mouth was hidden from view. 'Perhaps, I have not been looking closely enough. Maybe he is still the way he used to be, but I have yet to see it. I've been so caught up in my own affairs, that I have yet to speak with him about such things. Come to think of it, it's been a long time since we've conversed about just about anything. Maybe I've been too hard on him, or too quick to judge.' He began to debate to himself. 'Maybe tonight will be a god opportunity to do just that. Ah, but there's too much to do. And I need to get to work. Or sleep. God I'm tired. What to do what to do?'

Meanwhile, as Roderich bathed and mused, Gilbert was trying to locate the guestroom. He swung his flute case lightly in his hand as he wandered the halls. "His house is too damned big. How am I ever going to find the room?" he asked himself. He wasn't too worried, as he knew he would come across it eventually, so long as he kept looking. But still, it was quite the inconvenience. "I don't get it. Why does he still live here? It's too big for just one person. That fool gets lost on his way to the market. I wonder how many times he's gotten lost in his own home." He could picture it quite well actually, which made him chuckle. Roderich put up such a sophisticated and mature front. But the truth was, he was clumsy, and prone to getting himself lost. He could even be just a little air-headed at time, but he would deny it if asked. It was hard to miss though. Seeing as how Roderch always had the bad habit of being late to conferences, since he was always loosing his way, or forgetting the time. Such a fool he was. How did he even manage his nation, when he was forever messing up?

A half-bath. A closet. Laundry room. He did manage to find one guest room along the way. But, it seemed small. If he was going to spend the night, he was as well make himself comfortable right? He was the guest after all. Room after room, but nothing seemed quite right. But what he didn't expect, was to stumble upon a room that was likely to be forbidden.

At first, he thought he had found another guest room. But after seeing the clothing past the slightly ajar closet door, he quickly realized that this room was occupied. Why, this was none other then Roderich's bedroom. He had the feeling that Roderich would be rather cross if he decided to let himself in. But...when was he going to get an opportunity like this again? He almost never came by Roderich's house in the first place. So if he didn't take this chance, then he would likely never get it again. 'It's only for a minute right? I just wanna take a quick peek.' He pushed the door open the rest of the way, and let himself in. He could hear the very faint sound of water moving in the attached bathroom. Roderich was in there bathing. So, he had to be quick if he didn't want to be caught. After setting down his flute case on the bed, he had a little look. Looking around the room, the tidiness of the place didn't really surprise him. The nightstand was free of clutter, the closet was straight and organized, and the bed was made properly. Well...mostly. There was a bit of wrinkle to the sheets. It almost looked like someone had lie on top of the blankets. Well, whatever. Goodness, the room was just as boring as Roderich was. Gilbert sighed and folded his arms. No need to stick around here. Nothing interesting to see.

As he turned around to walk out, something caught his eye. He froze on the spot. And he approached the wardrobe. "Surely that isn't...could it be?" Gilbert reached up, and pulled down the item in question, looking it over. "This is the same carousal he was given as a child, wasn't it?" It was old, and the pain was terribly chipped. But there was no way he could mistake it. This was the old carousal Roderich had been given by Germania all those years ago. But, why did he still have it? Ludwig no longer had that teddy bear he was given, as it had been misplaced. And Gilbert had broken the wooden flute he had been given within the first year. So, why did he keep this thing? Gilbert gave one of the horses a little push, and found it quite easy to move. It was coming off of it's pole, and would easily fall off if one wasn't careful. "I wonder if this has something to do with his weird obsession with waste," Gilbert mused. "That hoarder, he never wants to throw anything away. Even things like this." It wasn't that he thought holding onto memories was foolish. Rather, he knew why it was important. However, there had to be a limit. And centuries of holding onto a little toy? That had to be over that limit. The carousel had certainly seen better days. He turned it over, and saw the crank on the bottom. He gave it a twist, and held it right-side up. The music was so tinny sounding, almost a completely different song then it used to sing. How sad...

"What. Are. You. Doing?" Gilbert froze at the sound of Roderich's angry voice. Finished with his bath already huh? Oh boy, he could only imagine how hard he was likely to be hit when he turned around. Gilbert quietly braced himself, before turning to face Roderich, who stood before him in his purple robe and slightly damp hair. What he hadn't prepared himself for, was Roderich's expression. It didn't seem to fit his tone at all. Rather then being red and angry, it was pale and...concerned? Roderich's eyes were fixed on the item in Gilbert's hands. "Put that back, and get out of my room! Who gave you permission to be in here in the first place? I certainly didn't!"

"Whoa whoa, calm down," Gilbert said back. "Roddy, why do you even have this thing? It's been centuries hasn't it? Why do you still have it?"

"That is none of your business! Now put it down! Before I grow rather cross with you!"

"I mean, you're already pretty angry. It can't get much worse from here can it?"

"Why are you not doing as I ask?!" Roderich was getting quite frustrated, and a little flustered too. It was obvious to him that it did not mean as much to Gilbert as it did to him, and he may as well be quite careless. "Put it back this minute! Look, if you aren't going to do as I ask, then just give it here would you?" He stepped foreword, and grabbed at it, trying to pull it out of Gilbert's hands. But, Gilbert relented.

"Hold on! You never answered my question. Why do you still hold onto this thing? It looks like it's gonna break, if it hasn't already."

"Why does it matter to you? Just give it back!" The two boys found themselves in a slight tug-of-war, trying to keep hold of carousal, being just a little careless. And of course, with both boys trying to get ahold of it, it seemed to be a recipe for disaster. The poor thing could only take so much. One horse fell off. Followed by a second one, taking it's pole along with it. With the pieces coming apart, and neither boy noticing it at first, the structure began it's inevitable collapse. As they fought, it didn't take too long for the top of he toy to pop off. And it was quickly followed by the rest of the horses. Leaving them with nothing to hold onto but the base. Pieces scattered at their feet, with the top rolling under the dresser. Both boys stood silent as they stared at the pieces on the ground. Gilbert slowly let go of the base, letting Roderich keep hold of it. Neither were able to say a thing.

"Roddy I..." gilbert was prepared to apologize. But, his pride seemed to get the better of him. "What did I tell you? That thing was already coming apart. You shouldn't have tried to hold onto it for so long." Roderich didn't answer. Instead, he sunk down to his knees, and began to gather up the pieces. His head was bent, so Gilbert wasn't able to see his face. But, he was able to heard Roderich, softly mumbling something under his breath. Gilbert frowned. He had expected some sort of a reaction he supposed. Anger, annoyance, rage even. But not this. "Hey, quit that," Gilbert sighed. "It's broken. It's been broken for awhile now hasn't it? There's no point in trying to fix it if that's what you're trying to do." But again, no answer. Instead, Roderich scoot closer to the dresser, and began to feel under it, trying to locate the top piece. Gilbert sighed once again, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "C'mon get up. It's not worth it. It's just a toy isn't it?"

" _It isn't!_ " Roderich's sharp and sudden tone took Gilbert by surprise. But it quickly became apparent why Roderich hadn't been speaking. He had been trying to hold back tears the whole time. His sharp tone was not as harsh as he wanted it to be, as his voice wavered. Roderich dropped the pieces he was holding and got to his feet to face Gilbert. His cheeks were a bright red, and little tears were brimming in his eyes. It was such a rare thing to see someone like Roderich cry. So it certainly made Gilbert shut his mouth for the time being. Roderich jammed a finger into Gilbert's chest, which usually would have gotten Gilbert's quite riled up. But for the time being, it simply surprised him even more. "You may find it something silly, but that gives you no right to destroy it!"

"Hey, I didn't break it! What are you getting so mad at me for huh? I didn't do it! I already told you, it was close to breaking already. Why was it so important to you anyways?"

"Because, unlike you, who can simply waste his life away on frivolities, I need to get things done! Unlike you, who is happy as he is, and isn't missing a thing, I actually do! You're spoiled, and don't understand the importance of things, because you can always get the things you want! Because you don't know what it means to long for something you cannot have! You're an idiot! A buffoon! A fool!" Roderich's anger was boiling over, and he wasn't making much sense. But either way, it still angered Gilbert quite a bit.

"What are you talking about? You're already entitled as it is you brat!" Gilbert shouted back. "What in the world are you trying to say? You have everything!"

"You're wrong! I don't have anything!" Roderich's tone was taking on a higher pitch now, as the tears started to roll down his cheeks. "Look at you! Your stupid friends! Your family! Your happiness! The love of your life, is the woman I loved for years! And you take it all for granted!" Roderich brought up a shaky hand, and for a moment, Gilbert thought he might be hit. But instead, Roderich ran his fingers through his hair. "Unlike you, I try to treasure the things I have. I don't take these things for granted. Can't I even have this? This one little thing?! But no, you just had to go and take this from me too!" Roderich tried to rub away the tears, but they came too fast, nearly choking him. "It's all I had. It made me happy. It gave me some sense of peace. You have to go and take this from me too! I'm so sick of this!"

Gilbert was feeling quite flustered at this point. He didn't quite understand. He had a general idea of what was being said, but it still didn't make perfect sense. And now Roddy was crying? He really didn't understand. "I...I don't understand," he admit, rubbing the back of his neck. Roderich sniffled, and continued to dry and dry his eyes.

"Of course you wouldn't. Why am I not surprised? You're far too stupid to even come close to comprehending how I feel." Okay, there wasn't really any need for name calling but... Roderich pinched the skin between his eyes, his breath coming as hiccups and gasps as he held back angry sobs. Gilbert had never seen him in such a way before. And he was a bit confused. Roderich took a moment to try and gather himself together, before speaking again. "That carousal. It's like a memory to me. A link to a happier time. Where I didn't have to worry so much. Where I didn't have to feel in the way that I do now." He knew it wasn't like him to be so open about such things. But damn it. He was so very tired. He didn't want to put up with this. He just wanted to fix the stupid thing and then go to bed. "Just...leave. Get out of here. I don't want to see you right now. Go home."

But Gilbert didn't move. He knew he ought to just listen and leave as he was asked. But, something told him that he couldn't leave. Not just yet. He watched as Roderich got back down to his knees, and went back to gathering his horses, not looking at Gilbert. To be frank, gilbert found himself at a loss. He wasn't a spoiled person. Yes, he had family. Yes, he had his best friends. And yes, he was quite happy. But that didn't make him spoiled. But what he didn't understand, where Roderich's words. His claims that he had nothing. He had family, didn't he? Maybe? He had never seen Roderich talk to people during work, or show his face at Alfred's parties. But that didn't mean he was without friends. And well...of course Roderich was happy! Wasn't he? He had his piano, and his people. He had his compositions, his big home, and his great food too! If anything, Roderich was the spoiled one! But...god. gilbert couldn't imagine what it would be like, if he didn't have his brother. If he didn't have Antonio and Francis. If he didn't have Elizabeta. He would have just wanted to give up. His world revolved around being close to them. So to be alone, it had to be painful. Did Roderich depend upon that little thing for comfort? For a sense of closeness that he didn't get? He knew Roderich had accused him of not understanding. but he could at least try to understand now couldn't he? He had a good idea as to what was wrong. And now, he just had to fix it. He watched for a moment as Roderich desperately reached under the dresser, trying to find the missing top. Oh, he just couldn't let this continue. Not like this.

Gilbert got down next to him, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Specs. That's enough. Just let it go." He could see Roderich was still searching. But he wasn't reaching as far anymore. He was starting to give up. Accept what had happened. He could feel Roderich's shoulder tremble, just a little. It was no wonder. Having lost what he felt was the only thing he had left. It had to be quite upsetting. Heartbreaking even. "I'll clean this up. Just...go lie down for now."

"I can't..." Roderich's words were strained, and he was just barely holding on. He couldn't leave him like this. He took Roderich's wrist, and gave it a gentle tug, trying to pull his hand out from under there. And after a bit, Roderich relented, and let his hand be pulled out. His knuckle was a bit red from it scrapping against the dresser itself, and looked a bit pained. but, gilbert decided not to comment on it. Instead, he placed an arm around Roderich, and helped the trembling man to his feet. Was it still anger he was feeling? Or, was it just sadness? He couldn't say for certain.

Gilbert quietly led him to the bed, and sat him down after pulling back the covers. "Lie down."

"I can't," Roderich repeated. "Leave me alone. Just let me-"

"God damnit. Look. It's not that important okay? You don't need that toy."

"How can you say that?" Roderich demanded, his voice weak. "You knew it was important to me. You saw me trying to fix it. How could you say such a thing?"

"I'm saying it, because it's true. It isn't important. You don't need to rely on some object to bring you happiness," Gilbert explained, placing a hand on Roderich's chest, and pushing him slightly so he would lie down. "Wouldn't it be better to have people in your life who brought you happiness instead. The people you care about y'know? And the people who care about you. It would feel shitty if you had to rely on something from the past to make you happy." He could see Roderich's expression change a bit, and could see how he avoided looking at him. "People like..." Uuugh, was he really going to have to say it? "People like me."

"You?" Roderich seemed to finally pay a little more attention now. "What are you talking about?"

Gilbert tried to hide the pinkness on his naturally pale face from having to say such a thing. "I know we don't always get along. But, I do care about you. More then you might think. I mean, we spent our childhood together. We were practically brothers. Germania was my father, and Ludwig's father. But he was yours and Vash's father figure at the time, remember that? We may not be related by blood, but I don't think blood ties have to make a family. you're as close to me as a brother might be. But if you tell anyone I said that then I'll tell them you're lying, got it?" Roderich's expression was still one of shock, making Gilbert blush even harder. "Quit looking at me like that will you? It's making me feel weird." Gilbert sighed. "Look. I don't like the thought of you being alone like this. Especially not if you're gonna be crying like you were today. So, I'll stay with you, alright? We can make this work. Have things be the way they used to be. you aren't as alone as you feel you are. Toys will break eventually. The music has to stop sometime. So you would have been all alone had the thing broken on it's own. Because I know you wouldn't come out and talk about this kind of a thing with anyone. Since I was the one who broke it, the least I can do is...fix things right? So...would that be okay I mean?" Ah, his words were coming out all stupid. But he didn't know how else to form them.

Roderich could only stare at first. But, with hesitant pacing, he said to him, "Yes. I...I believe that would be just fine."

"Good." Gilbert cleared his throat, trying to will his face to return to a normal color. "Now, lie back down. It's been a long day, and you should probably sleep, don't you think?"

"Ah, perhaps," Roderich nodded, lying down once again. Was he truly going to be able to sleep with Gilbert right there though? Gilbert wasn't looking his way though. He was reached out for his flute case. He opened it up, and pulled out the pieces to his flute. "What are you doing?"

"Well, I thought that I could play something for ya. You still seemed kinda frazzled, so I guess I can't really expect you to sleep right away, can I?" Well, he hadn't been expecting that. Roderich was still, as he watched Gilbert put his flute together. He wouldn't really mind hearing, just one little solo before he slept. just to help calm his nerves once again.

Once Gilbert had his flute put together, he had to think. Ah, what was he supposed to play anyways? The only thing that was coming to mind, was the piece he and Rodercih had tried to play earlier today. Would that suffice he wondered? It wasn't really a sleepy song. It wasn't really quick paced, but it wasn't super relaxing either. Well, it would have to do for now he supposed. He took a few short breaths. And then, he began to play. A song just for Roderich.

The pianist closed his eyes, and let himself be taken in by the music. Something about this piece, a piece he had heard many times before, felt quite special. A melody just for him. The carousals song, it was something he treasured. It was a song just for him too. That he could play when he wanted, and he used to comfort himself. But this was different. Gilbert was playing it for him. A song just for him. Unlike the music box, it would not change it's tone. It could not go away with time. It wouldn't be there when he needed it every time however. But, perhaps that's what it made it more special. It would not grown worn out, or play too much. He had to reach out when he needed it. And, it wouldn't just be a song he would get. But, a friend. Could he call Gilbert a friend? Perhaps. That caring side of the albino was coming out once again, the side he missed quite a bit. Why did he feel so...safe? It was a little hard for him to wrap his head around. But he knew one thing. This was a melody that would truly never end. An endless melody, only played for him. It was these safe and warm thought, that slowly helped him drift off to sleep, his thumb finding it's way back to his mouth once again. He hadn't felt this safe and cared for since he was quite young. It truly meant the world to him that Gilbert could make him feel such a way.

Gilbert slowly tapered off his playing when he saw how relaxed Roderich became, indicating that he had finally managed to fall asleep. That was good. Gilbert was careful not to make too much noise as he packed away his flute. He set it into his case, zipper it up, and tucked Roderich in a bit more. He paused when he noticed how Roderich was using his thumb as a soother. He hadn't seen him do such a thing before. He imagined Elizabeta hadn't either. She might like to see this though. But...no. This wasn't his business he supposed. Gilbert sat on the edge of the bed, watching over him for a moment. If he was being honest, Roderich reminded him a bit of a child. Growing so attached to something small, and crying himself to sleep. Sucking his thumb, and needing his music to sleep. Such a little kid he could be sometimes huh? Gilbert laughed softly, thinking back to an earlier thought he had. Roderich had such a sophisticated front. With a real 'holier then thou,' attitude. But the truth was, he really could be such a little kid sometimes. Tantrums, pouty faces, and strong attachments to sometimes rather silly things. Heh. And right now, he looked more like a child then he ever had before. He took a moment to run his fingers through Roderich's hair. The sleeping boy seemed unconsciously nuzzle into Gilbert's hand as he was touched. Oh honestly...

Gilbert stayed with him for a moment, before slowly standing up. He picked up his case, and walked towards the door. But, he didn't leave right away. He gathered the horses and poles, as well as the base, and set it up and onto the wardrobe. He didn't quite have the heart to throw them away. He would let Roderich decide for himself what he would do. Once everything was all cleaned up, he stepped out of the room, and quietly shut the door behind him so Roderich could rest. Perhaps, he would talk to him about this in the morning if he wanted to? Well, he would figure that out for himself when he could. This is, if Roderich didn't mind his company in the morning. Gilbert was a bit of an early riser anyhow. Maybe he could help himself to a bit of that 'classy' food Roderich stocked up on. Heh. if he could even find the kitchen in the morning.

Actually, now that he thought about it...maybe he should have asked Roderich where the guest room was before he left...


End file.
